Haley's Story
Hello, my name is Haley. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an addiction therapist, and a recovering methamphetamine addict.
I went to high school in a small town in Northeast Nebraska. Even though I was an honor student, participated in sports and social clubs, and had an array of friends, I remember feeling as though I never belonged. I began drinking in high school because I felt as though I was empty from the inside no matter what things I achieved. When I was in college, I was introduced to methamphetamine and I loved it. In the beginning, it did for me what I felt I could not do for myself, but soon became my worst nightmare.
I soon dropped out of college and had a series of bad relationships. After my first son was born, things went from bad to worse. I began using meth on a consistent basis, and was in and out of treatment. I did anything I could so I did not need to focus on my disease. I became hopeless. I wanted the shame to go away from using while I was pregnant with my second son. I hurt so bad inside and just knew everyone hated me. What I didn’t know is that I hated myself.
Addiction robbed everything from me. I lost my children. I lost my home and worst of all, I lost myself. I returned to treatment again weighing 123 pounds at 5’10”, losing my hair, scabbed from picking at my skin, and in a drug-induced psychosis. I hadn’t slept in almost 3 weeks and I couldn’t tell you how long it had been since I had eaten. But the thought of facing my pain sounded better than the pain I endured every day when I used.
I completed treatment and a seven-month stay at a halfway house for women. My brain slowly went back to normal without the chemicals. I returned to college, my children came home, and I began to have hope. Today I sit here three years sober and intact with my two beautiful sons.
I contribute my recovery to treatment and to the professionals who loved me enough when I could not love myself and 12-step meetings. They did not assume that I was just a horrible person with no morals. I thank God for those who took the time to believe, research, donate, and attend to my needs. Because where would I be if no one ever believed in me?
I have been sober for 3 ½ years and I now work as a Therapist with Jackson Recovery Centers. I specifically work with women and the issues surrounding their addictions. I have dedicated my life to work with addicts, furthering my education so I can provide the most up to date therapy so the women I work with have the latest knowledge to battle their disease. I believe that the nation needs to be educated on addiction, and I hope that our voices will be heard around the world.
Reprinted from Recovery Iowa 2005 Recovery Month Calendar
I went to high school in a small town in Northeast Nebraska. Even though I was an honor student, participated in sports and social clubs, and had an array of friends, I remember feeling as though I never belonged. I began drinking in high school because I felt as though I was empty from the inside no matter what things I achieved. When I was in college, I was introduced to methamphetamine and I loved it. In the beginning, it did for me what I felt I could not do for myself, but soon became my worst nightmare.
I soon dropped out of college and had a series of bad relationships. After my first son was born, things went from bad to worse. I began using meth on a consistent basis, and was in and out of treatment. I did anything I could so I did not need to focus on my disease. I became hopeless. I wanted the shame to go away from using while I was pregnant with my second son. I hurt so bad inside and just knew everyone hated me. What I didn’t know is that I hated myself.
Addiction robbed everything from me. I lost my children. I lost my home and worst of all, I lost myself. I returned to treatment again weighing 123 pounds at 5’10”, losing my hair, scabbed from picking at my skin, and in a drug-induced psychosis. I hadn’t slept in almost 3 weeks and I couldn’t tell you how long it had been since I had eaten. But the thought of facing my pain sounded better than the pain I endured every day when I used.
I completed treatment and a seven-month stay at a halfway house for women. My brain slowly went back to normal without the chemicals. I returned to college, my children came home, and I began to have hope. Today I sit here three years sober and intact with my two beautiful sons.
I contribute my recovery to treatment and to the professionals who loved me enough when I could not love myself and 12-step meetings. They did not assume that I was just a horrible person with no morals. I thank God for those who took the time to believe, research, donate, and attend to my needs. Because where would I be if no one ever believed in me?
I have been sober for 3 ½ years and I now work as a Therapist with Jackson Recovery Centers. I specifically work with women and the issues surrounding their addictions. I have dedicated my life to work with addicts, furthering my education so I can provide the most up to date therapy so the women I work with have the latest knowledge to battle their disease. I believe that the nation needs to be educated on addiction, and I hope that our voices will be heard around the world.
Reprinted from Recovery Iowa 2005 Recovery Month Calendar
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